Page:Complete budget of wit.pdf/5

5 nest people's windows? Why, it's all for the good of trade, replied the young urchin, I am a glazer: All for the good of trade, is it? said Sandy, raising his cane, and breaking the boy's head, There, then that's for the good of my trade,-I am a surgeon.

Barrymore happening to come late to the theatre, and having no dress for his part, was driven to the last moment, when to heighten his perplexity, the key of his drawer was a missing. D-n it, said he I must have swallowed it. Never mind says Jack Bannister, coolly, If you have, it will serve to open your chest.

Mr. Curran being retained against a young officer, who was indicted for a very gross assault, opened the cause in the following manner: My Lord, I am counsel for the Crown ; and I am first to acquaint your Lordship, that this soldier. Nay, Sir, says the military hero, I would have you know, sir, I am an officer.-O sir, I beg your pardon, says the counsellor, very drily; Why then, my Lord, to speak more correctly, this officer, who is no soldier.

Charles Fox, in a Westminster election, having applied to a shop-keeper for his vote and interest, the man produced halter, with which he said he was ready to oblige him. Mr. Fox thanked him for this kindness, but said he would by no means deprive him of it, as he presumed it was a family-piece.

An old bawd being carried before the late Justice Bond, for keeping a disorderly house, strongly denied all that was charged against her. Housewife! Housewife! said the Justice, low have you the assurance to deny it? You do keep a baudy-house, and I will maintain it.-Will your replied the old bawd: the Lord bliss you! I always look you to be a kind hearted gentleman.