Page:Complete budget of wit.pdf/4

4 Some differences lately occurred between a corps of volunteers and their commandant.-The regimen was ordered to appear before the inspecting General, and the Colonel of course gave the word of command 'Attention!'- Shoulder arms! Not a muscle not a musket nioved. The command was repeated in a louder voice; the corps was still motionless. The General much surprised, lweckoned to a serjeant, and asked why the corps refused to act ? An't plaise you honour, says Pat, making the due obeisance, it is bekays the Colonel and the regiment are not on spaiking terms.

During the high price of coals, a gentleman meeting his coal merchant, inquired whether it was proper to lay in a stock. The knight of the black diamond shook his head, observing, Coals are coals now sir! To which his customer replied, I'm very glad to hear it, for the last you sent me were all slates!

A gentleman having occasion to call for Mr Joseph G*****n, writer, found him at home in his writing-chamber. He remarked the great heat of the apartment, and said, it was as hot as an oven Bo it ought, replied Mr. G. for 'tis here I make my bread.

The late well known Sandy Wood, surgeon in Edinburgh, was walking through the streets of the city during the time of an illumination, when he ch served a young rascal, not above twelve years of age breaking every window he could reath, with as much industry as if he had been doing the most commendable act a in the world. Enraged at this mischievious disposition, Sandy seized him by the collar, and as ked him what he meant by thus destroying the h