Page:Complete budget of wit.pdf/21

21 A Minister one day seeing an old woman, one of s parishioners, who had got a glass extraordinary, tting by the road side, with her burden lying in the aud before her, reproved her sharply for being in uch a situation, and asked her if she knew where ll drunkards go to? Help me up wi' my bundle, id Janet, and I'll tell you. Well, well, said tha Minister, I shall. Nov-answer my question. Veel to tell you the truth, Sir, they just go where the drap o' guid drink is to be gotten.

An apothecary in Cork has over his door, Dying tuffs sold here.

A bill once passed the Irish Parliament, for pull- ng down the old jail in Dublin, and rebuilding it on he same spot, in which it was enacted, that in order o prevent unnecessary expence the prisoners should emain in the old jail till the new one was finished!

At a musical meeting in the country, a vocal performer who was shabbily dressed about the small lothes, being complimented on the power of his oice, vainly tussed up his head and replied, O sir, can make any thing of it, Can you indeed, said a person in company, why then, I'd advise you to make a pair of breeches of it.

An old woman who sold ale, being at church, fell asleep during the sermon. and unluckily let her old. fashioned clasped bible fall, which making a great poise, she roared out, half a wake, so you jade! there's another jug broken.

An Irishman in court having sworn two oaths the Justice charged liim two shillings. How much do you charge for a curse? said Pat, Sixpence; replied the Justice, Then take my half crown, as I ate change, and a curse light on you all returned Pat,