Page:Complete budget of wit.pdf/18

18 A person asked an Irishman why he wore his stockings the wrong side outwards? Because, said he, there is a hole on the other side.

An Irishman in the late General Washington's army, being separated from his companions, was met by five Hessian soldiers, Pat seeing his danger, ordered them to surrender.-They suspecting him to be backed by numbers, immediately obeyed. Pat shouldered their arms and marched them to the General's tent, when being asked how a single man durst encounter five. O by Jasus, my General, I surrounded them! Washington who was seldom seen to smile, laughed heartily, and promoted him to a halbert.

As an Irish Officer, who was severely wounded at the battle of Waterloo, lay on the ground, a foreign soldier, who was near him, also wounded, made a terrible howling: when the officer exclaimed, D-m you sir, what do you make such a noise for, do you think there's nobody killed but yourself.

Once at a meeting of ministers, a question of moment was started to be debated among them. Upor the first proposal of it, a confident young man shot his bolt presently. He said, Truly I hold it so. A grave minister answered, You hold, sir, it become you to hold your peace.

Lady Huntington once asking a person if sh knew who it was that redeemed her, received for answer. Yes madam, I knew very well who it was that redeemed me; it was Pontius Pilate.

A gentleman who had engaged an Irish footma in his service, on telling him that morning and ever ing prayers were observed in the family, he hope that would not be any objection to him, he replies