Page:Complete budget of wit.pdf/17

17 grees, hold up your head so.-And must I always do so captain ? asked the recruit. Yes, always, answer ed the officer. Then fare you well, my dear little fellow, rejoined Paddy, for I shall never see you more.

A countryman seeing a lady in the street in a very odd dress, as he thought, begged of her to tell him what she called it. The lady, a little surprised at the question, called him an impertinent fellow. Nay, I hope no offence, madam, said Hodge, I am a poor countryman, just going out of town, and my wife always expects I should bring her an account of the newest fashion, which occasioned my inquiring what you call this that you wear.-It is a sack, said she, in a great pet. I have heard, said the countryman, of a pig in a poke, but I never before saw a bow in a sack.

A soldier being to be sent on the late Spanish expedition, said to the officer directing the drafts, Sir, cannot go because I-I-stutter.-Stutter! says the officer, you don't go to talk but to fight.-Ay, put they'll p-p-put me on s-guard, and a man may o ha-ha-half a mile, before I can say, wh-wh who poes there? On, that's no objection, for there will e another sentry placed along with you, and he can hallenge if you can fire.-Well b.b-but I may be ken, and run through the g-3-guts. before I can ry qu-qu-quarter.

An Irishman telling his friend, that passing along he street, he saw a person on the other side with hom he thought he was acquainted said, I crossed see him, I thought I knew him, and he though he ew me; but by Jasus my honey, it was neither one r t'other of us.