Page:Complete budget of wit.pdf/16

16 coachman, who had been an old servant, and said, Ah, Tom, I am going a long and rugged journey, worse than ever you drove me. Oh! dear sir, replied the fellow, ne'er let that disturb you for it's all down hill.

Two gentleman, one named Woodcock and the other Fuller, walking together, happened to see an owl; says the last That bird is very like a Woodcock. You're very wrong, says the first, for it's Fuller in the head, Fuller in the eyes, and Fuller all over.

At a late Execution in the old Bailey, the hangman was blamed for hurrying them.-Och, be aisy, says an Irishman, it is mere humanity, fox were they to stand long in the cold they would catch their deaths.

An Irish servant being struck by his master, cried out, Devil take me, if I am certain whether be has killed me or not, but if I am dead it will afford me great satisfaction to hear the old rogue was hanged for killing me.

One Irishman meeting another, asked what was become of their old acquaintance Patrick Murphy? Arrah, my dear honey, answered the other, poor paddy was condemned to be hanged, but he saved his life by dying in prison.

An Irishman being asked which was oldest, he or his brother, I am oldest, said he: but if my brother lives three years longer we shall be both of one age.

Ove saying to another, you speak foolishly, he answered, it is that you may undersand me.

A military officer of diminutive stature, was drilling a tall Irish recruit. Hold up, your head, said the officer, elevating the chin of the Irishman with the end of his cane, to an angle of nearly forty de