Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 18.djvu/408

 divan, leaning toward me. I moved away so as not to come in contact with her.

"'I see you are dissatisfied with my playing on Sunday,' she said.

"'I am not in the least,' I said.

"'But I see it.'

"'Let me congratulate you if you do. All I see is that you are acting like a coquette. You find pleasure in all kinds of baseness, but to me this is terrible!'

"'If you are going to swear like a cabman, then I will go away.'

"'Go, but know that if you do not respect the honour of the family, I will not respect you (the devil take you), but will guard the honour of the family.'

"'What is the matter, what?'

"'Get out, for the Lord's sake, get out!'

"I do not know whether she pretended that she did not understand or whether she really did not understand,—in any case she was offended, grew angry, and did not go away, but stopped in the middle of the room.

"'You are absolutely impossible,' she said. 'With any one of your character not even an angel could get along,' and, as always, wishing to sting me in the most painful manner, she reminded me of my action toward my sister (she referred to an incident when I lost my patience with my sister and told her a lot of rude things; she knew that it tormented me and so she stung me with it). 'After this nothing from you will surprise me,' she said.

"'Yes, she will offend, humiliate, disgrace me, and then she will make me guilty of it,' I said to myself, and I was suddenly seized by such terrible rage against her as I had never experienced before.

"I wanted now for the first time to give a physical expression to this rage. I jumped up and moved toward her; but just as I jumped up I remember that I became conscious of my rage and asked myself, 'Is it right to