Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 18.djvu/407



not speak with her all that day,—I could not. Her proximity to me provoked in me such a hatred of her, that I was afraid of myself. At dinner, she asked me, in the presence of the children, when I was going to leave. I had to go next week to the county to attend a meeting. I told her when. She asked me whether I needed anything for my way. I did not answer, and silently sat at the table, and silently went to my cabinet. During that last period she never came into my room, especially not then. I was lying down in my cabinet and fretting. Suddenly I heard a familiar tread. And suddenly a terrible, monstrous thought passed through my mind that she, like the wife of Uriah, wanted to conceal her accomplished sin, and that it was for this purpose that she was coming to my room at such an untimely hour. 'Is it possible she is coming here?' I thought, listening to her approaching steps. 'If she is coming here, then I am right.' And in my soul there rose an inexpressible hatred of her. Nearer, nearer the steps came. 'Will she really pass by and go into the parlour?' No, the door creaked, and there stood her tall, beautiful figure, and in her face and eyes there was timidity and supplication, which she tried to conceal, but which I saw, and the meaning of which I understood. I almost choked,—I so long held my breath,—and, continuing to look at her, I grasped the cigarette-holder and began to smoke.

"'How does this look? I come to sit with you awhile, and you smoke,' and she seated herself near me on the