Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 18.djvu/187

. There is no reason for recalling the past. What has been is no more.

. And it will not return?

. No, it will not. But why did you go away? You are the host, and you have left the wedding-feast.

(sitting down on the straw). Why have I come away? Ah, if you only knew! I feel badly, Marína, I feel so badly that I wish my eyes did not see it all. I left the table and went away from the people, just not to look at them.

(coming nearer to him). What is it?

. It is something that neither my eating, nor my drinking, nor my sleep will make me forget. Oh, I feel so mean, so mean! But the worst thing about it is, Marína, that I have no one to share my sorrow with.

. You can't live without sorrow, Nikíta. I, too, have wept much, but it has all passed.

. You are speaking of what has been. Oh, my friend! You got through weeping, but I am all undone.

. What is the matter?

. I am tired of life. I am tired of myself. Oh, Marína, you did not know how to keep me, and you have ruined me and yourself, too. What kind of a life is this?

(standing near the barn, weeping, and holding herself back). Nikíta, I do not complain of my own life. May God grant that everybody lead such a life! I confessed to my old man, and he forgave me everything. He does not reproach me for it. I cannot complain about my life. The old man is peaceable. He is good to me, and I dress and wash his children! He takes good care of me, so why should I complain? It evidently was God's fate. And how is your life? You are wealthy—

. My life! I just did not want to disturb the wedding, or I would have taken a rope, this rope (picks up the rope from the straw),—and would have thrown it