Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 01.djvu/144

112 It has occurred to me that if I did not have so many children of my own, I should be doing a good act if I took her into my house.

"Lyúbochka wanted to write to you herself, but she has torn her third sheet, and she says: 'I know what a scoffer papa is; if I make one mistake, he will show it to everybody.' Kátenka is as dear as ever, and Mimi is as good and tiresome.

"Now let us speak of something serious: you are writing me that your affairs are not going well this winter, and that you will be compelled to take some Khabárovka money. It is strange to me that you even ask my consent. Does not that which belongs to me equally belong to you?

"You are so good, my dear one, that for fear of grieving me you are hiding the actual condition of your affairs, but I guess you have lost much at cards, and I am not in the least, I swear it, aggrieved at the fact, so that, if this affair can be straightened out, please don't spend much thought over it, or vainly worry about the matter. I have become accustomed not to count on your winnings for our children, not even, you will forgive me for saying so, on your property. Your winnings give me as little pleasure as your losses grieve me; I am only grieved at your unfortunate passion for gaming, which robs me of a part of your tender attachment for me, and compels you to tell such bitter truths as those you are telling me now, — and God knows how that pains me! I never cease praying to Him that He may deliver us, not from poverty (what is poverty?), but from that terrible condition when the interests of our children, which I shall have to protect, will come in conflict with our own. Thus far God has fulfilled my prayer; you have not crossed the one line, after which we shall have either to sacrifice our property, which no longer belongs to us, but to our children, or — it is terrible to think of it, and yet we are threatened by