Page:Comical tricks of Lothian Tom (6).pdf/21

 couping horses and cows, and feeding veals for the slaughter and the like. He went one day to a fair and bought a fine cow from an old woman; but Tom judged from the lowness of the price that the cow had certainly some very great faults: Tom gives the wife the other hearty bicker of ale, then says, hae, guidwife, the money is yours and the cow is mine; you maun tell me ony wee faults, it has. Indeed, says the goodwife, she has nae faut but ane, and if she wanted it, I would never a parted wi' her. And what's that gudewife, said he? Indeed said she, the filthy daft beast sucks ay hersel'. But says Tom, if that be all, Till soon cure her of that. O! can you do't, said she, if I had kent' what wad don't, I wadna sold. A-weel, says Tom, I'll tell you what to do, tak the price I gave you just now, and tie it hard and fast. in your napkin, and give it to me, through beneath the cow's wame, and I'll give you the napkin again o'er the cow's back, and I'll lay my life for it, that she will never suck hersel' in my aught. I wat well said she I'se do that, an' there should be witchcraft in't. So Tom got it thro' below the cow's wame, he takes out his money, and gave the wife her napkin over the cow's back, as he promised, saying, now, wife, you have your cow, and I have my money,