Page:Comical tricks of Lothian Tom (2).pdf/24

 HOW TO READ A SIGN-BOARD.

A Highland Drover passing through a certain town, noticed a Sign-hoard above an entry, with the following inscription:

Green Teas, Raw Sugars, Marmalades, Jellies, Capped Biscuits, and all sorts of Confectionary Goods, sold down this entry.

read it as follows:

Green Trees, Raw Sodgers, Mermaids, Jades, Scabbed Bitches, and all sorts of Confusionary Goods, sold down this entry.

ADDITION.

A farmer’s son, who had been some time at the university, coming home to visit his father and mother; and being one night with the old folks at supper, on a couple of fowls he told them, that by the rules of logic and arithmetic, he could prove these two fowls to be three. — “Well, let us hear,” said the old man; “Why this,” said the scholar, “is one, and this,” continued he, “is two, two and one you know make three.” —‘‘Since ye hae made it out sae weel,” answered the old man, “your mother shall hae the first fowl, I’ll hae the second, and the third you may keep to yoursell.”