Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/7

 I went to the potatoe monger and asked what he took, for the full of a Scots cog, he weighed them in, he asked no less than four-pence four-pence, said I, if I were but in Dublin, I would get the full of that for no hing, and in Cork and Kingsale far cheaper, them is but small things like pease, said I, but the potatoes in my country is as big as your head, fine meat all made up in blessed mouthful's the potatoe merchant called me a liar, and my master called me a fool, so the one fell a-kicking me, and the other a-cussing me, l was in such bad bread between them, that I called myself both a liar and a fool to get off alive.

Tom. And how did you carry your potatoes home from the market? Teag Arra dear shoy, I carried the horse and them both, besides a big loaf, and two bottles of wine; for I put the old horse on my back, and drove up the potatoes before me; and when I tied the load to the loaf, I had nothing to do but to carry the bottles in my hand, but bad luck to the way as I came home, for a nail out of the heel of my foot sprung a leek in my brog, which pricked toe very bone, bruised the skin, and made my brog itself to blood: and I having no hammer by me, but a hatchet I left at home, I had to beat down the point of the, rad with the bottom of the bottle; and by the book deer shoy, it broke all to pieces, and fettered the wine in my mouth.

Tom. And how did you recompence your master for the loss of the bottle of wine? Teag. Arra dear shoy, I had a mind to cheat him and myself too, for I took the bottle away to a Blacksmith, and desired him to mend in, that I might go to the butchers and get it full of bloody water, but he told me, he could not work in any thing but steel and iron. Arra, said I if I were in my own kingdom, I could get a blacksmith. who could make a bottle out or a none, and a floor out or nothing.