Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/3

 a justice of the peace himself, had me tried for the right of it and how I came by it, and so took it again.

Tom. And how did you clear yourself without punishment? Teag. Arra dear thoy, I told them a parcel of lies, but they would not believe me, for I said I got it from my father when it was a little pistol, and had kept it till it had grown a gun, and was designed to use it well, until it had turned a big cannon, and then sold it to the military; they fell a laughing at me, as I had been a fool, and bid me to go home to my mother and clean the potatoes.

Tom. And how long is it since you left your own country? Teag. Arra dear honey, I do not mind whether it be a fourthnight or four mouths, but I think myself it is a long time; they tell me my mother is dead since, but I won't believe it, until I get a letter from her own hand, for she is a very good scholar, suppose she can neither read nor write.

Tom. Was you ever in England before? Teag. Ay that I was, and in Scotland too.

Tom. And were they kind to you when you was in Scotland? Teag. They were that kind, that they kicked my arse for me, and the reason was, because I would not pay the whole of the liquor that was drunk in the company, though the landlord and his two sons got mouthfulls about of it; they would nave me to pay it all, though I did not drink it all. I told them it was a trick upon travellers, first to drink his liquor, and then to kick him out of doors.

Tom. I really think they used you badly, but should you not beat them? Teag, That’s what I did, beat them all to their own contentment; but there was one of them stronger than me, who would have killed me, if the other two had not pulled me away, and I had to run for it, till his passion was over; then they made us drink and gree again; we shook hands and made a bargain never to harm other