Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/23

 of Lent, feeding upon bulls bastards and sheeps young children.

Tom. Why, Pady, do ye say the bull is a fornicator, and gets bastards? Pady. Arra dear shoy, I never saw the cow and her husband all the day of my life, nor yet before I was born, going to the church to be married, and what then can his sons and daughters be but bastards.

Tom. O Pady, Pady, the cow is but a cow, but and so are you; but what reward will you get when you are dead, for punishing your, belly so while you are alive? Pady. By shaint Patrick I will live like a king when I am dead, for I will neither pay for meat nor drink.

Tom. What Pady do you think that you are to come alive again after you are dead? Pady. O yes I've that are true Roman Catholicks will live a long time after we are dead, when we die in love with the priests and the good people of cur profession.

Tom. And what assurance Can your priest give you of that? Pady. Arra dear shoy, our priest is great shaint and a good shoul, who can repeat a waternoster and Avamaria, which will fright the very horned devil himself, and make him run for it until he be like to fall and break his neck.

Tom. And what does he give you when you are dying that makes you come alive again. Pady. Why he writes a letter upon our tongue, sealed with a wafer, gives us a sacrament in our mouth with a pardon, and direction in our right hand who to call for at the ports of purgatory.

Tom. And to whom do they direct the dead?

Pady. Why the English Romans, when they die, are all directed to shaint George, the Scots to shaint Andrew, the Welsh to shaint David, and our own dear countrymen must every shoul of them go to shaint Patrick; but them that have no money to pay the priest for a pardon, and those that are drown’d or