Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/21

 before his captain, who made me pay all was in his book. Arra master captain said I, yot are a comical sort of a fellow, you might as well make me pay for my coffin before I be dead, than to pay for a doctor before I be sick; to which he answered in a passion, firra said he, I have seen many a better man buried without a coffin; sir, said I, then I’ll have a coffin die when I will, if there is as much wood in all the world, or I shall not be buried at all; then he called to the sergeant, saying, you sir, go and buy that man a Coffin, and put in the store till he die, and stop a six pence a week off his pay for it; No, no, sir, said I, I’ll rather die without a coffin, and seek none when I’m dead; but if you be for clipping another sixpence off my poor pay, keep it all to yourself, and I’ll swear all our oaths of agreement we bad back again, and then seek soldiers where you will.

Tom. O then Pady, how did you end the matter? Teag. Arra dear shoy, by the mights of shaint Patrick and help my own brogs, I both ended it and mended it, for the next night before that, I gave them legbail for my fidelity, and then went about the country a fortune teller, dumb and deaf, as I was not.

Tom. How old was you Pady, when you was a soldier lad? Teag Arra dear honey I was three dozen all but two and it is only but two years since, so I want only two years of three dozen yet, and when I live six dozen more, I’ll be older than I am. I’ll warrand you.

Tom. O but Pady by your account you are three dozen of years old already. Teag. O what for a big fool are you now Tom, when you count the years I lay sick; which time I count no tune at all.