Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/18

 I was so hollow in the middle; so I went into a gentleman’s house, and told him the black fortune I had of being drown’d between Ireland and the foot of his garden, where we came all safe ashore; but all the comfort l got from him, was a word of truth.

Tom. And what was that Pady? Teag. Why he told me if I had been a good boy at home I needed not to have gone so far to push my fortune with an empty pocket; to which I answered, and what magnifies that, as long as I am a good workman at no trade at all.

Tom. I suppose Pady, the gentleman would make you dine with him? Teag. I really thought I was, when I saw them reading and skinning so many black chickens, which was nothing but a few dead crows they were going to eat: ho, ho, said I, them is but dry meat at the bell; of all the fowls that flies commend me to the wing of an ox; but all that came to my share, was a piece of boiled herring and a roasted potatoe and that was the first bit of bread ever I ate in England.

Tom. Well Pady, what business did you follow after in England, when you was so far? Teag. What sir, do you imagine I was poor when I came over on such an honourable condition as to lift, and bring myself to no perferment at all. I was art able bodied man in the face, I thought to be made a brigadeer, a grenadeer, a fufileer, or even one of them blue-gowns that holds the fiery stick to the bunghole of the big cannons, when they let them off to fright away the French: I was as sure as no man alive, or I came from Cork the lean perferment I could get was to be riding-master to a regiment of marines, or one of the black horse itself.

Tom. Well Pady, you seem to be a very clever little man, to be all in one body, what height are you? Teag. Arra dear shoy, I am five foot nothing, all but one inch.