Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/14

 which I answered, the same way that other women goes to a chair; no, said he, that is not what I mean: how does she purge? Arra mr. doctor, said I, all the fire in purrgatory wont purge her clean; for she’s both a cold and stinking breath. Sir, Gid he, that is not what I ask you, whether does she some thick or thin? Arra matter doctor said I, it is sometimes so thick and hard, that you may take it in your hand and eat it like a piece of cheese or pudden, and at other times you may drink it, or sup it with a spoon. At this he flew in a most terrible rage and kicked me down stairs, and would give me nothing to her, but called a dirty scoundrel tor speaking of shite before ladies.

Tom. And was you sorry when your wife died?

Teag. Arra dear shoy, if any body, had beat me I was fit to cry myself.

Tom. And in what good order did you bury your wife when she died? Teag. O my dear shoy, she was buried with all manner of pomp, pride and splendour, a fine coffin with-cords in it, and within the coffin along with herself, she got a pair of new brogs, a penny candle, a good hard-headed holy hammer, with an Irish sixpenny piece, to pay her passage at the gate, and what more could she look for.

Tom. I really think you gave her enough along with her; but you ought to have cried for her, if it was no more than to be in the fashion. Teag. And why should I cry without sorrow? when we hired two cries, to cry all the way before her to keep in the fashion.

Tom. And what did they cry before a dead woman? Teag. Why they cry the common cry, or scoundrel lament that is used in our Irish country.

Tom. And what manner of a cry is that. Pady? Teag. Dear Tom, if you don’t know I'll tell you, when any dies there is a number of criers goes before, saying, Suff, suff, son, alilieu dear honey, what