Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork (2).pdf/13

 Tom. Now Pady, that’s a bull surpasses all; but is there none of that cock’s offspring alive in Ireland now? Teag. Arra dear shoy, I don’t think that they are, but it is a pity bur they had, for they would fly with people above the sea, winch would put the use of ships out of fashion, and theu there would be no body drown’d at sea at all.

Tom. Very well Pady. but in all your travels did you ever get a wife? Teag. Ay that’s what I did, and a wicked wife too.

Tom. And what is become of her now? Teag. Dear shoy, I can’t tell whether she’s gone to purgatory, or the parish of Pigttrentom; for she told me she would certainly die the first opportunity she could get, as this present evil world was not worth the waiting on, so she would go and see what good things is in the world to come, and so when that old rover called the sever, came ranging like a madman over the whole kingdom, knocking the people on the head with deadly blows; she went away and died out of spite, leaving me with nothing but two motherless children.

Tom. O but Pady, you ought to have gone to a doctor, and a got some pills and physic for her.

Teag. By shaint Patrick, I had as good a pill of my own as any doctor in the kingdom could give her and as for sneeshing she could never use snuff or tobacco in her life.

Tom. O you fool, that is not what I mean; you ought to have brought the doctor, to feel her pulse, and let blood of her if he thought needful:

Teag. Yes, yes, that’s what I did; for I run to the doctor wherever she died, and sought something for a dead or dying woman, the old fooish d———! was at his dinner, and began to alk me some dirty questioms which I answered distinctly.

Tom. And what did he ask of you Pady?

Teag. Why, he asked me how did my wife go to stool, to