Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork, with his coat button'd behind (3).pdf/18



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give her; and as for ſneeſhing, ſhe could never use ſnuff nor tobacco in herself. Tom: you fool, that is not what I mean; you ought to have brought the doctor to feel her pulse, and let her blood, if needful. Teag: Yes, yes that's what I did; for I ran to the doctor whenever ſhe died, and ſought ſomething for a dead or dying woman: The old foolish devil was at his dinner, and began to ask me ſome dirty questions. Tom. And what did he ask, Pady? Teag. Why, he ask'd me, How did my wife go to ſtool? To which I answered, The ſame way that other women go to chair, No, ſaid he, that's not what I mean: How does ſhe purge? Arra, Mr. Doctor, ſaid I, all the fire in Purgatory won't purge her clean; for ſhe has both a cold and a ſtinking breath--Sir, ſaid he, that is not what I ask you! Whether does ſhe ſh-t thick or thin? Arra, master Doctor, ſaid I, it is ſomtimes ſo thick and hard, that you may take it in your hand, and eat it like a piece of cheese or pudding: and as other times you may drink it, or ſup it with a ſpoon.--At this he flew in a most terrible rage, and kicked me down ſtairs; and would give me nothing to her, but called me a dirty ſcoundral, for ſpeaking ſo before ladies. Tom. Was you ſorry when your wife died? Teag. Arra dear ſhoy, if any body had beat me, I was fit to cry myself. Tom. And in what manner did you bury your wife, when ſhe died? -