Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork, with his coat button'd behind (1).pdf/6

 6 PADY FROM CORK.

own to be teached by him or any body elſe, he began to inſtruct me after that, how I ſhould ſerve the table, and ſuch naſty things as thoſe; one night I took ben a roaſted fiſh in one hand, a piece of bread in the other the old gentleman was ſo fancy he would not take it, and told me I ſhould bring nothing to him without a trencker below it: the ſame night he was going to bed, he called for his ſlippers and a piſh pot, ſo I clapt in trencher below the piſh pot, and another below the ſlippers and ben I goes, one in every hand; no ſooner, did I enter the room, then he threw the piſh pot at me, which broke both my head and the piſh pot at one blow, now ſaid I, the devil is in my maſter altogether, for what he commands at one time he countermands at another. Next day I went with him to the market to buy, a ſack of potatoes. I went unto the potatoe monger, and aſked what he took for the full of a Scotchcog he weighted them in, he asked no leſs that fourpence, fourpence ſaid I, if I were but is Dublin, I could get the full of that for nothing, and in Cork and Kinſale for cheaper, them is but ſmall things like peaſe, ſaid I, but the potatoes in my country is as big as your head, fine meat all made up in bleſſed mouthfuls; the potatoe-merchant called me a liar, and my maſter called me a ſeal, ſo the one fell a kicking me and the other a cuſſing me, I was in ſuch had bread between them that I called myſelf both a liar and a fool to get out alive.

Tom. And how did you carry your potatoes home from the market.

Teag. Arra dear ſhoy, carried the houſe and them both, beſides a big loaf and two boules of wine: for I put the old horſe on my back and drove the potatoes before me; and when I tied the load to the loaf I had nothing ado but to carry the bottles in my hand, but bad luck to the way, as I came home, for a nail out of the heel of my foot ſprung a leak in my bog, which pricked the very bone, bruiſed the ſkin, and made my very bro itſelf to blood: and I having to hammer by me but a hatchet I left at home, I had to beat down the nail with the bottom of the bottle; and by the book, dear ſhoy, it broke to pieces, and ſcattered the wine in my mouth.