Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork, with his coat button'd behind (1).pdf/3

 PADY FROM CORK. 3

keeped it till it had grown a gun, and deſigned to use it well until it had grown a big cannon and then fell it to the military. They all fell a laughing at me as I had been a fool and bid me go home to my mother and clean the potatoes.

Tom. And how long is it ſince you left your own country

Teag. Arra dear honey I do not mind whether it be a fortnight or four months, but I think myſelf it is a long time, they tell me my mother is dead ſince, but I won't believe it, until I get a letter from her own hand, for ſhe is a very good ſcholar ſuppoſe ſhe can neither read nor write.

Tom. Was you ever in England before?

Teag) Ay that I was and in Scotland too.

Tom, And were they kind to you when you was in Scotland?

Teag. They were that kind that they kicked my arſe for me, and the reaſon was becauſe I would not pay the whole of the liquor that was drunk in the Company, tho' the landlord and his two ſons got mouthfull about of it; they would have me pay it all, tho' I did not drink it all and I told them it was a trick upon travellers, firſt to drink their liquor and then to kick them out of doors.

Tom. I really think they uſed you badly, but could you not beat them,

Teag. That's what I did, beat them all to their own contentment; but there was one of them ſtronger that me, who would have killed me, if the other two had not pulled me away, and I had to ran for it till his paſſion was over; then they made us drink and gree again; we ſhook hands, and made a bargain never to harm other more; but this bargain did not laſt, for as I was kiſſing his mouth, by ſhaint Patrick I bit his noſe, which cauſed him to beat me fore for my pains.

Tom. Well Pady, what calling was you when in Scotland.

Teag. Why ſir, I was no buſineſs at all; but what do you call the green tree, that's like a whin-buſh, many people makes a thing to ſweep the houſe with it?

Tom. O yes they call it a broom.

Teag. Ay. ay, you have it, then I was a gentleman's