Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork, with his coat button'd behind (1).pdf/22

 PADY FROM CORK. 20

Pady, rown'd nor yet die in my bed, for when any t its me a blow, my new body will buff upon it like a bladder.

Tom. But what way will you go to that new world, or where is it.

Pady. Arra dear ſhoy, the prieſt knows where it is but I do not, but the Pope of Rome keeps the outter port, ſhaint Patrick the inner port, and gives us a direction of the way to ſhaint Patrick's palace, which ſtands on the head of the Stygian Loch, where I'll have no more to do but shap at the gate.

Tom. What is the need of chaping at the gate, is it not always open.

Pady. Dear ſhoy, you know little about it, for there is none can enter there but red hot Iriſhmen, for when I call," Allieu dear honey, ſhaint Patrick, conntenance your own dear countryman if you will." Then the gates will be opened directly to me, for he knows and loves an Iriſhman's voice, as he loves his own heart.

Tom. And what entertainment will you get when you are in,

Pady. O my dear we are all kept there unto a general review which is commonly once in the week; and all the blackguard ſcoundrils is pick't out of the ranks, and one half of them is ſent away to the Elſiyan fields to carry the weeds from among the potatoes, the other, half of them to the river ſticks to catch fiſhes for ſhaint Patrick's table; and all them that are owing the prieſts any money is put in the black hole, and then given into the hands of a great black bitch of a devil, which they keep for a hangman, who whips them up and down the ſmoky dungeon every morning for ſix months, then holds their bare back ſide to a fire, until their hips be all in one bliſter and after all they are ſent away to the poor pariſh of Pigtrantram, where they'll get nothing to eat, but cold ſowens, barges and butter milk.

Tom. And where does your good people go when they are parted from the bad?

Pady. And where would you have them to to go, but