Page:Comical sayings of Pady from Cork, with his coat button'd behind (1).pdf/18

 18 PADY FROM CORK.

that they made me ſwear the malicious oath of devilrie againſt the King the colours, and my captain, telling me if ever I deſert and not run away, that I ſhould be ſhot, and then whipt to death, through the regiment.

Tom. No Pady, it is firſt whipt and then ſhot you mean.

Trag. Arra, dear ſhoy it is all one thing at laſt, but it is beſt to be ſhot and then whipt, the cleverſt way to die I'll warrant you.

Tom, How much pay did you get, Pady?

Teag. Do you know the little fat tall ſerjeant that feed me to be a ſoldier.

Tom. And how ſhall I know them I never ſaw, you fool.

Teag. Dear ſhoy, you may know him whether you ſee him or not; for his face is all bor'd in big holes with the ſmall pox, his noſe is the colour of a lobſter's toe, and his chin like a well waſhed potatoe; he is the bigeſt rogue in our kingdom, you'll know him when he cheats you, and the wide world, and another mark, he dights his month before he drinks, and blows his one before he takes a ſnuff the rogue heights me a ſixpence a day, kill or no kill, and when I laid Sunday and Saturday both together and all the days in one day, I can't make a penny above ſixpence of it.

Tom. You thould have kept an account, and aſk'd your arraars once a month.

Teag. That's what I did, but he read a pater-noſter, out of his prayer book wherein all our names are written; ſo much for a ſtop hold to my gu, buckles to a pair of comical harn hoſe, with leather buttons from top to toe, and work of all he would have no leſs then a penny a week to a doctor; arra ſaid I, I never had a ſore finger, or yet a ſick too all the days of my life, then what have I to do with the doctor, or the doctor, to do with me.

Tom. And did be make you pay all theſe things.

Teag. Av, ay, pay and better pay; he took me before his captain, who made me pay all was in his book: Arra maſter captain, ſaid I, you are acomical ſort of a fellow now you might as well make me pay for my coffin before I am