Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (6).pdf/18

13 ing on a fiddle and another playing on a drum, tossing their airs thro' the streets, as if they were going to be married. I saw then counting none but young men: so to bring myself to no preferment at all, I listed for a soldier, for I was too high for a grandedeer.

Tom. And what listing money did you get, Paddy?

Teag. Arra dear shoy, I got five thirteens and a pair of English brogues; the grinsa and the rest of the gold was sent to London, to the King, my master, to buy me new shirts, a cockade, and common treasing for my hat, they made me swear the malicious oath of devilrie against the King, the colours, and my captain, telling me if ever I desert, and not run away, that I should be shot, and then whipt to death through the regiment.

Tom. No Paddy. It is first whipt and then shot you mean.

Teag. Arra dear shoy, it is all one thing at last, but it is best to be shot and then whipt, the cleverest way to die I'll warrant you.

Tom. How much pay did you get Paddy?

Teag. Do you know the little tall fat sergeant that feed me to be a soldier?

Tom. And how should I know them I never saw, you fool.

Teag. Dear shoy, you may know him whether you see him or not, for his faceis all bor'd in big holes with the small-pox, his rose is the colour of a lobster-toe, and his chin like a well washen potatoe, he's the biggest rogue in our kingdom, you'll know him when he cheats you and the wide world; and another mark he dights his month before he drinks, and blows his nose before he takes snuff; the rogue height me six-pence a day, kill or no kill: and when I laid Sunday and Saturday both together, and all the days in one day, I can't make a penny above fivepence of it.

Tom. You should have kept an account, and ask'd your arrears once a month.

Teag. That's what I did, but he read a pator-