Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (6).pdf/10

10 Tom. In all your travels when abroad, did you never see none of your countrymen to inform you of what happened at home concerning your relations?

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I saw none but Tom Jack, one day in the street; but when I came to him, it was not him, but one just like him.

Tom. On what account did you go a travelling?

Teag. Why a decruiting sergeant listed me to be a captain, and after all advanced me no higher than a soldier itself, but only he called me his dear countryman recruit; for I did not know what the regiment was when I saw them, I thought they were all gentlemen's sons, and collegioners, when I saw a box like a bible upon their bellies; until I saw G for King George upon it, and R. for God bless him, ho, ho, said I, I shan't be long here.

Tom. O then Paddy you deserted from them?

Teag. That's what I did, and run to the mountains like a buck, and ever since when I see any soldiers I close my eyes, lest they should look and know me.

Tom. And what exploits did you when you was a soldier?

Teag. Arra dear honey, I killed a man.

Tom. And how did you do that?

Teag. Arra dear honey, when he dropt his sword I drew mine, and advanced boldly to him, and then catted off his foot.

Tom. O then what a big fool was you: for you ought first to have cut off his head.

Teag. Arra dear shay, his head was cutted off before I engaged him, else, I had not done it.

Tom. O then Paddy you acted like a fool: but you are not such a big fool as many take you to be, you might pass for a philosopher.

Teág. A fulusipher, my father was a fulusipher besides he was a man under great authority by law, condemning the just and clearing the guilty Do you know how they call the horse's mother?

Tom. Why they call her a mare.