Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (5).pdf/7

 7 merchant called me a liar, and my maſter called di me a fool, ſo the one fell a-kicking me, and the other. a cuffing me, I was in ſuch bad bread among them, that I called myſelf both a liar and a fool, to get off alive. Tom. And how did you carry your potatoes home from the market! Teag. Arra, dear ſhoy, I carried toe horſe and them both, beſides a big loaf and two bottles of wine ; for I put the old horſe on my back, and drove the potatoes before me, and when I tied the Joad to the loaf, I had nothing to do out to carry the bottles in my hard; but bad luck to the way as I came home, for a pail out of the heel of my foot ſprung a leak in my brogue, which pricked the very bone, bruiſed the ſkin, and made my brogue itſelf to blood; and I having no hammer by me but a hatchet I left at home, I had to beat down the nail with the bottom of the bottle'; and by the book, dear ſhoy, it broke to pieces, and ſcattered the wine in my mouth. Tom. And how did you recompeace your maſter for the loſs of the bottle of wine? Teag. Arra, dear ſhoy, I had a mind to cheat him Rod myſelf too, for ! took the bottle to a blackſmith, and deſired him to mend it, that I might go to the butcher and get it full of bloody water, but he told me he could not work in any thing but ſteel and iron. Arra, ſaid I, if I were in my own kingdom, I could get a blackſmith who would make a bottle out of a tone, and a ſtone out of nothing. Tom. And how did you trick your maſter out of it? Teag. Why the old rogue began to chide me, aſk- ing me what way I broke it, then I held up the other as high as my head, and let it fall to the ground on a ſtone, which broke it all in pieces likewiſe ; now, ſaid I, maſter, that's the way, and be beat me very heartily, until I had to ſhout out mercy and murder, all at once.