Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (5).pdf/3

 3 But they would not believe me; for I ſaid that I got it from my father when it was a little piſtol, and I had kept it till it had grown a gun, and was deſige- ed to uſe it well until it had grown a big cannon, and then fold it to the military. They all fell a laughing at me as I had been a fool, and bade me go home to my mother and clean the potatoes. Tom How long is it ſince you left your own country? Teag. Arra, dear horsey, I do not wind whether it be a fortnight or four months, but I think myſelf, it is a long time: they tell me my mother is dead ſince, but I wont believe it, until I get a letter from her own hand, for ſhe is a very good Scholar, ſuppoſe ſhe can neither write nor read. Tom. Was you ever in England before? Teag. I that I was, and in Scotland too. Tom. And were they kind to you when you was in Scotland Teag. They were that kind that they kickt my arſe for me, and the reaſon was, becauſe I would not pay the whole of the liquor that was drunk in the com- pany, though the landlord and his two ſons got mouth- ful about of it all, and I told them it was a trick upon travellers, firſt to drink his liquor, and then to kick him out of doors. Tom. I really think they uſed you badly, but could you not beat them? Teag. That's what I did beat them all to their own contentment; but there was one of them ſtrong- er than me, who would have killed me, if the other two had not pulled me away, and I bad, to run for it, till his paſſion was over; then they made us drink and gree again; we hook hands and made a bargain, never to harm other more ; but this bargain did not laſt long, for, as I was kiſſing his month, by ſhaint Patrick, I bit his noſe, which cauſed him to beat me very fore for my pains. Tom. Well Pady, what calling was you when, in Scotland!