Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (1).pdf/21

 and hen's venison; but our religion is one of the hungriest in all the world, ah! but it makes my teeth to weep and my belly to water, when I see the Scotch Presbyterians, and English churchmen, in time of lent, feeding upon bulls' bastards, and sheep's young children.

Tom. Why, Paddy, do you say the bull is a fornicator and gets bastards?

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I never saw the cow and her husband all the days of my life, nor before I was born, going to the church to be married, and what then can his sons and daughters be but bastards?

Tom. What reward will you get when you are dead for punishing your belly so while you are alive?

Teag. By shaint Patrick I'll live like a king when I'm dead, for I'll neither pay for meat nor drink.

Tom. What, Paddy, do you think that you are to come alive again when you are dead?

Teag. O yes, we that are true Roman Catholics will live a long time after we are dead, when we die in love with the Priests and the good people of our profession.

Tom. And what assurance can your priest give you of that?

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, our priest is a great shaint, a good shoul, who can repeat a pater-noster and Ave Maria, which will fright the very horned devil himself, and make him run for it, until he be like to fall and break his neck.

Tom. And what does he give you when you are dying that makes you come alive again?

Teag. Why he writes a letter upon our tongues, sealed with a wafer, gives us a sacrament in our mouth, with a pardon, and a direction in our right hand, who to call for at the ports of Purgatory.

Tom. And what money design you to give the priest for your pardon?

Teag. Dear shoy, I wish I had the first money he would take for it, I would rather drink it my-