Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (1).pdf/18

 ing on a fiddle and another playing on a drum, tossing their airs thro’ the streets, as if they were going to be married. I saw them courting none but young men; so to bring myself to no preferment at all, I listed for a soldier - I was too big for a grandedeer.

Tom. What listing money did you get, Paddy?

Teay. Arra, dear shoy, I got five thirteens and a pair of English brogues; the guinea and the rest of the gold was sent to London to the king, my master, to buy me new shirts, a cockade, and common treasing for my hat, they made me swear the malicious oath of devilry against the king, the colours; and my captain, telling me if ever I desert, and not run away, that I would be shot, and then whipt to death through the regiment.

Tom. No, Paddy. It is first whipt and then shot you mean.

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, it is all one thing at last, but it is best to be shot and then whipt, the cleverest way to die, I'll warrant you.

Tom. How much pay did you get, Paddy?

Teag. Do you know the little tall fat sergeant that feed me to be a soldier?

Tom. And how should I know them I never saw, you fool?

Teag, Dear shoy, you may know him whether you see him or not, his face is all bored in holes with the small pox, his nose is the colour of a lobster-toe, and his chin like a well washen potatoe, he's the biggest rogue in our kingdom, you'll know him when he cheats you and the wide world; and another mark be dights his mouth before he drinks, and blows his nose before he takes snuff: the rogue beight me six-pence a-day, kill or no kill: and when I laid Sunday and Saturday both together, and all the days in one day, I cant make a penny above fivepence of it.

Tom. You should have kept an account, and asked your arrears once a-month.

Teag. That's what I did, but he reads a pater-