Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (1).pdf/17

 was an able bodied man in the face, I thought to be made a brigadeer, a grandedeer, or a fuzeleer, or even one of them blue gowns that holds the fiery stick to the bung-hole of the big cannons, when they let them off to fright away the French; I was as sure as no man alive ere I came from Cork, the least preferment I could get, was to be riding master to a regiment of marines, or one of the black horse itself

Tom. Well Paddy, you seem to be a very clever little man to be all in one body, what height are you?

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I am five feet nothing all but one inch.

Tom. And where in England was it you listed?

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I was going through that little country village, the famous city of Chester, the streets was very sore by reason of the hardness of my feet, and lameness of my brogues, so I went but very slowly across the streets, from port to port is a pretty long way, but I being weary thought nothing of it; then the people came all crowding to me as I had been a world's wonder, or the wandering Jew? for the rain blew in my face, and the wind wetted all my belly, which caused me to turn the backside of my coat before, and my buttons behind, which was a good safeguard to my body, and the starvation of my naked body, for I had not a good shirt.

Tom. I am sure then, Paddy, they would take you for a fool?

Teag. No, no, sir, they admired me for my wisdom for I always turned my buttons before when the wind blew behind, but I wondered how the people knew my name and where I came from: for every one told another, that was Paddy from Cork: I suppose they knew my face by seeing my name in the newspapers

Tom. Well, Paddy, what business did you follow in Chester?

Teag. To be sure I was not idle, working at nothing at all, a decruiting seargeant came to town with two or three fellows along with him, one beat-