Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind (1).pdf/8

8 pease, said I, but the potatoes in my country is as big your head, fine meat, all made up in blessed mouthfuls the potatoe-merchant called me a liar, and my maste called me a fool, so the one fell a-kicking me, and the other a cuffing me, I was in such bad bread among them that I called myself both a liar and a fool to get a alive. Tom, And how did you carry your potatoes home from the market. Teag. Arra dear shoy, I carried the horse and then both, besides a big loaf, and two bottles of wine ; for put the old horse on my back, and drove the potatoes before me, and when I tied the load to the loaf, I ha nothing to do but to carry the bottle in my hand: but bad luck to the way as I came home, for a nail out of the heal of my foot sprung a leak in my brogue, which pricked the very bone, bruised the skin, and made my brogue itself to blood, and I having no hammer by me but a hatchet I left at home, I had to beat down the nail with the bottom of the bottle: and by the book. dear shoy, it broke to pieces, and scattered the wine in my mouth. Tom. And how did you recompense your master for the loss of the bottle of wine ? Teag. Arra dear shoy, I had a mind to cheat him and myself too, for I took the bottle to a blacksmith, and desired him to mend it that I might go to the but- cher and get it full of bloody water, but he told me he could not work in any thing but steel and iron. I arra, said I, if I were in my own kingdom, I could get a blacksmith who would make a bottle out of a stone, and a stone out of nothing. Tom. And how did you trick your master out of it? Teag. Why the old rogue began to chide me, asking me what way I broke it, then I held up the other as high as my head, and let it fall to the ground on a stone, which broke it all in pieces likewise : now said I, mas- ter, that's the way, and he beat me very heartily until I had to shout out mercy and murder all at once.