Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind (1).pdf/23

23 on the head of the Stalian loch, where I'll have no more to do but chap at the gate. Tom. What is the need for chapping at the gate, is it not always open ? Teag. Dear shov, you know little about it, for there is none can enter but red hot Irishmen, for when I call Allelieu, dear honey, shaint Patrick countenance your own dear countryman if you will, then the gates will be opened directly for me, for he knows and loves an Irish- man's voice, as he loves his own heart. Tom. And what entertainment will you get when you are in ? Teag. O my dear, we are all kept there untill a general review, which is commonly once in the week; and then we are drawn up like as many young recruits, and all the blackgaurd scoundrels is pick out of the ranks, and nine half of them is sent away to the Elysian fields, to curry the weeds from among the potatoes, the other half of them to the River sticks, to catch fishes for shaint Patricks table, and then that is owing the priests any money is put in the black-hole, and then given to the hands of a great black bitch of a devil, which is keeped for a hangman, who whips them up and down the smoky ungeon every morning for six months. Ton. Well Paddy, are you to do as much justice to a Protestant as a Papist? Teag. O my dear shoy, the most justice we are com- manded to do a Protestant, is to whip and torment them until they confess themselves in the Romish faith and then cut their throats that they may die believers. Tom. What business do you follow after at present ? Teag. Arra, dear sloy, I am a mountain sailor and my supplication is as follows.

PADDY'S HUMBLE PETITION, OR SUPPLICATION.

Good Christian people, behold me a man! who has com'd through a world of wonders, a hell full of hardships, dangers by sea, and dangers by land, and yet I am alive; you may see my hand crooked like a fowl's foot, and