Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind (1).pdf/22

22 In love with the Priests, and the good people of our profession. Tom. And what assurance can your priest give you of that? Teag. Arra, dear sloy, our priest is a great shaint, a good shoul, who can repeat a pater-noster and Ave Maria, which will fright the very horned devil himself. and make him run for it, until he he like to fall and break his neck. Tom. And what does he give you when you are dying that makes you come alive again ? Teag. Why he writes a letter upon our tongues, seal- ed with a wafer, gives us a sacrament in our mouth, with a pardon, and direction in our right hand, who to call for at the ports of Purgatory. Tom. And what money design you to give the priest for your pardon ? Teag. Dear shoy I wish I had first the money he would take for it, I would rather drink it myself, and then give him both my bill and any honest word, payable in other world. Tom. And how then are you to get a passage to the other world, or who is to carry you there? Teag. O my dear shoy, Tom, you know nothing of the matter for when I die, they will bury my body, flesh, blood, dirt, and bones, only my skin still be blown up full of wind and spirit, my dear shoul I mean; and then I will be blown over to the other world on the wings of the wind ; and after that I'll never be killed, hanged nor' drowned, nor yet die in my bed, for when any hits me a blow, my new body will play buff upon it like a bladder. Ton. But what way will yon go to the new world, or where is it? Tedy. Arra, dear shoy, the priest knows where it is but I do not, but the Pope of Rome keeps the outer- purt, shaint Patrick the inner-port, and gives us a direc- tion of the way to shaint Patrick's palace, which stands