Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind (1).pdf/20

20 there be as much wood in all the world, or I shall not be buried at all. Then he called for the sergeant, say- ing, you sir, go and buy that man's coffin, and put it in the store till he die, and stop sixpence a week of his pay for it: No, no, sir, said I, I'll rather die without a coffin, and seek none when I'm dead, but if you are for clipping another sixpence off my pay, keep it all to yourself, and I'll swear all your oaths of agreement we had back again, and then seek soldiers where you will. Tom. O then Paddy, how did you end the matter? Teag. Arra, dear shoy, by the nights of shaint Patrick and help of my brogues, I both ended it, and mended it, for the next night before that, I gave them leg bail for my fidelity, and went about the country a fortune-teller, dumb and deaf as I was not. Tom. How old was you Paddy when you was a soldier last? Teag. Arra, dear honey, I was three dozen all but two, and it is only two years since, so I want only four years of three dozen yet, and when I live six dozen more, I'll be older than I am, I'll warrant you. Tom. O but Paddy, by your account, you are three dozen of years old already. Teag. O what for a big fool are you now Tom, when you count the years I lay sick; which time I count no time at all.

A NEW CATECHISM, &c.

Tom. Of all the opinions professed in religion tell me now, Paddy, of what profession art thou ? Teag. Arra, dear shoy, my religion was too weighty a matter to carry out of mine own country: I was afraid that you English Presbyterians should pluck it away from Tom. What, Paddy, was your religion such a load that you could not carry it along with you? Teag. Yes, was, but I carried it always about with me when at home my sweet cross upon my dear breast, bound to my dear button hole.