Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind (1).pdf/11

11 see none of your countrymen to inform you of what happened at home concerning your relations? Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I saw none but Tom Jack, one day in the street; but when I came to him, it was not him, but one just like him. Tom. O what account did yon go a travelling? Teag. Why a recruiting sergeant listed me to be a captain, and after all advanced me no higher than a soldier itself, but only he called me his dear countryman recruit; for I did not know what the regiment was when I saw them. I thought they were all gentle- men's sons, and collegioners, when I saw a box like a bible upon their bellies; until I saw G for King George upon it, and R for God bless him: ho, ho, said I, I shan't be long here. Tom. O then Paddy you deserted from them? Teag. That's what I did, and ran to the mountains I like a buck, and ever since when I see any soldiers I close my eyes, lest they should look and know me. Tom. And what exploits did you when you was a soldier? Teag. Arra, dear honey, I killed a man. Tom. And how did you do that? Teag. Arra, dear honey, when he dropt his sword I drew mine, and advanced boldly to him, and then cutted off his foot. Tom. O then what a big fool was you; for you ought first to have cut off his head. Teag. Arra; dear shoy, his head was cutted off be- fore I engaged him, else I had not done it. Tom. O then Paddy yon acted like a fool: but you are not such a big fool as many take you to be, you might pass for a philosopher. Teag. A fulusipher, my father was a fulusipher, be- sides he was a man under great authority by law, con- demning the just and clearing the guilty. Do you know how they call the horse's mother? Tom, Why they call her a mare.