Page:Comical notes and sayings of the late Reverend Mr. Pettegrew.pdf/8

 3 COMICAL NOTES AND SAYINGS, & c. waiters had a cuftom of ftopping almoft every body, that happend to be carrying any thing, under a pretence of fearching for prohibited goods, he got a large round ftone, and putting it below his cloke, went very faft through the port, looking always be-' hind him as if he had been frighted ; the waiter fee-' ing this, and thinking he had catched a prize, pur-' fued after him immediately, overtook him, and ordered him in the king’s name to deliver up what he had got below his cloke, which the other refufed to do, inftantly they fell fo fcuffing, the one to feize the ftone and the other to keep it, till Mr Pette- grew, feeing an opportunity, let the ftone drop with great force upon the waiter’s toes, and running away, laughed at him with all his might, as did likewife the people on the ftreet, while the poor waiter, fore hurt with the dreadful ftroke, could not walk one ftep for a confiderable time, till Mr. Pettegrew fcaped out of his clutches. One warm fummer day, he was riding into Paif- ley, and having newly got a wig, the heat caufes him to take it off, and put on his hat on the bare head : and as he came to Paifley town, and could not get his wig, he turned back, meeting with a woman on the way, he faid, Honeft woman, did you fee ai hafockk of hair among your feet ? Ke awa’, ye filthy mifleard carle, what’s your bufinefs what I hae between my feet. The poor woman began to run off the road, and he riding after her, crying' for her to give him his haffock of hair. A deil’s in the carle cried the wife, ye have hair enough, when, ye wear it above your hat. He then putting up his hand, and finding the miftake he was in, begged to be excufed of the woman, for his mifbehaviour. F I N I S