Page:Comical notes and sayings of the late Reverend Mr. Pettegrew.pdf/7

 OF THE LALE REV. MR. PETTEGREW 7

'waves with a lofty head, and there fhe comes, with her top and top gallants, but fhe has a leak in her bottom that will fink her to hell. The captain of a fhip being in the church and afleep, or near about it, hearing thefe words, got up in a rage, crying, Up, tup, up, all hands aloft, pump and be d-——d. I'll make her to fwim. Now in all his diverting fayings, he was never fean to laugh himfelf but thrice.' The firft was, Once as he was going to church not far from his own houfe, one of his elders was eafing himfelf, and being in a hafte, becaufe Mr. Pettegrew Was coming that way, he pulled a docken to dight his back-fide, but doing it too rafhly, his fingers went through, and were all befhit: fo he gave his hand a hafty wap backward, and fmote his fingers againft ftone -wall, until the blood followed, and then bangs then! into his mouth, dirty as they were. Mr. Pettegrew feeing him come into the church after a while, and his hand tied up when he minded the way he faw him get it, he burft out into laughter: the elders called a feffion between fermofis to inquire the reafon, thinking he was gone mad; fo he ordered them to afk how much a man got his hand hurt; to which he anfwered, helping out with a barrowful of muck. Then Mr Pettegrew told the way he faw him get it, which made they all laugh very heartily.

Another time as he was coming from a Prefbytery? with other two minifters, they called at a houfe on the way for a refrefment. for the landlady rosfted fome puddings on the fire, and Mr Pettegrew was afking a bllefing before they fell to eat them, one of the puddings on the fire fell a chipling like a moufe ; a young child, about two years of age, being then prefent, faid, Whift puddy, nae body maun peek here but the man that fays the grace : whereat all three burft out into laughter. Another time, before Mr. Pettegrew entered into -the miniftry, paffing one day through the Netherbew port of Edinburgh, and obferving that one of the