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Sh-sh-sh-show me--on my--way? Nay, sp-e-eak I'll smoke thy bacon! You have a t-ongnc, or I'm mistaken."                  "Yes--that, th-that I-I-I-have; But not for y-y-you--you knave!"               "What!" cried the stranger, "wh-wh-what! Dy'e mock me? T-t-take you that!"               "Hugh! you mock--me!" quoth Hob amain,               "So t-t-take you--that, again!"                 Then to't they fell, in furious plight,                 While each one thought himself i' th' right;                 And, if you dare believe my song,                 They likewise thought each other wrong                 The battle o'er, and somewhat cool--                 Each half suspects himself a fool;                 For, when to choler folks incline 'em,                 Your argumentum baeulinum,                 Administered in dose terrific,                 Was ever held a grand specific.                  Each word the combatants now utter'd,                 Conviction brought, that both dolts stutter'd;                 And each assum'd a look as stupid,                 As, after combat, looks Cupid:                 Each scrateh'd his silly head, and thought                 He'd argue ere again he fought. Hence I this moral shall deduce-- Would Anger deign to sign a truce Till Reason could discover truly, Why this mad Madam were unruly, So well she would explain their words, Men little use could find for swords. T H E W A G E R  D E C I D E D.                        Such little hopes I'd always found Of gaining Betsy for my wife, That I had wagered Dick a pound, I should not win her all my life. But, thanks to heaven! my anxious care Is all removed--the knot is ty'd,                       And Betsy, fairest of the fair, Consents at length to be my bride. To Dick, then, as in honour bound, Well pleased, I hold myself in debt; Thus, by the oddest luck, 'tis found I lose my wager, win my BET.