Page:Christianity in China, Tartary, and Thibet Volume I.djvu/412

 400 CHRISTIANITY IN CHINA, ETC. the glory supposed to accrue from this disgrace of the Christian name. Nevertheless that divine glance, whose tender mercy had once caused a faithless apostle to weep bitterly after his triple denial of his Lord, had pene- trated also the soul of the apostate missionary. Even during this triumphal march, in the midst of the frantic ' acclamations of the multitude, Stephen heard the sobs of the Christians and the priests. The joy of the Mus- sulmans and the grief of the Catholics alike caused him to blush at this impious ovation, and he had now the happiness of feeling the first stings of shame and remorse. After the procession, a splendid banquet was served up to him ; but what had just taken place had so overpowered him, and he was a prey to such anguish, that he touched none of the viands ; but fearing to betray the remorse by which he was tormented, he re- plied to their questions that the spirit of Mahomet was in him. He was then conducted to a magnificent dwel- ling, accompanied by the Imaum who had the charge of his instruction. On that and the following days, he re- ceived, and moistened with his tears, letters full of grace written by the monks, those sincere and devoted friends who still held out their hands to rescue him from the abyss, and with unbounded charity still offered him the kiss of reconciliation. He replied to one of them : — " I have sinned like Judas, but I do not, like him, yield to despair. God has given me grace to perceive the enor- mity of my crime, and to repent of it ; if you can conceal me without compromising yourselves or the Christians, I am ready to submit to perpetual imprison- ment ; if you cannot, I desire that you should come and prepare me, by the administration of the sacraments, for the trial of martyrdom ; as I have publicly denied