Page:Chinese Merry Tales (1909).djvu/59

Chinese Merry Tales45] 500 and give me 500, then we both have equal amounts; why should I then respect you ? " The wealthy man said: "Suppose I give you the whole amount, would you not admire me?" "When I have got your 1,000 taels, then you should respect me instead, and the more I should not compliment you."

HERE was a district magistrate who had obtained his rank by purchase. He did not speak the Mandarin dialect. After he had entered office, he called on his superior, who questioned him thus: "What are the prospects (風土 wind and earth means also prospects) of your district?" He replied: "There is no wind nor dust" (無大風, 更少塵土.) The superior again asked: "How are the spring crops?" (春花何如 spring flower.) He answered: "This year's cotton is worth 200 cash a catty." His superior again questioned him: "How is the grain crop?" (紳糧). He answered: "Your inferior wears a 3-ft. 5-in. long robe." (The two words 紳糧 have the same sound as length of a person 身量.) Again his superior asked him: "How are the people in your jurisdiction?" (百姓怎麽樣.) He replied: "Of white apricots (白杏) we have only two kinds, of red apricots we have collected a lot." (The words white apricots (白杏) and people (百姓) in Chinese have similar sounds, hence the misunderstanding occurs.) The superior said: "I enquired about the people" (黎庶). He replied: "We have plenty of pear trees (梨樹); pear tree and (黎庶) people sound alike, but they produce very little fruit." The superior said: "I did not ask you about the pears and apricots, but what I asked you is about the citizens" (小民 also means 'name' 小名.) The magistrate hastily stood up and said: "Your inferior's Christian name is doggy" (呌狗兒).