Page:Chesterton - The Club of Queer Trades.djvu/292

The Club of Queer Trades Something in the atmosphere told me that it was not only Rupert and I who were listening with intensity to this statement.

"Well, I discovered that I could be of real use. I offered myself privately as a purely moral judge to settle purely moral differences. Before very long these unofficial courts of honor (kept strictly secret) had spread over the whole of society. People were tried before me not for the practical trifles for which nobody cares, such as committing a murder, of keeping a dog without a license. My criminals were tried for the faults which really make social life impossible. They were tried before me for selfishness, or for an impossible vanity, or for scandal-mongering, or for stinginess to guests or dependants. Of course these courts had no sort of real coercive powers. The fulfilment of their punishments rested entirely on the honor of the ladies and gentlemen involved, including the honor of the culprits. But you would be amazed to know how completely our orders were always obeyed. Only lately I had 268