Page:Chesterton - The Club of Queer Trades.djvu/119

Awful Reason of the Vicar's Visit brief and in tone extremely business-like, were such as to render that arrest of my remarks, I think, natural and excusable. I have these words also noted down. I have not the least idea of their meaning, so I have only been able to render them phonetically. But she said"—and Mr. Shorter peered shortsightedly at his papers—"she said: 'Chuck it, fat 'ead,' and she added something that sounded like, 'It's a kop, or (possibly) a kopt.' And then the last cord, either of my sanity or the sanity of the universe, snapped suddenly. My esteemed friend and helper, Miss Brett, standing by the mantel-piece, said: 'Put is old 'ead in a bag, Sam, and tie 'im up before you start jawin'. You'll be kopt yourselves some o' these days with this way of doin' things, har lar theatre.'

"My head went round and round. Was it really true, as I had suddenly fancied a moment before, that unmarried ladies had some dreadful riotous society of their own from which all others were excluded? I remembered dimly in my classical days (I was a scholar in a small way once, but now, alas! 103