Page:Chernyshevsky.whatistobedone.djvu/240

220 reason in her questions, and two or three weeks, or maybe several days later, the result would have been the same as really happened, owing to Kirsánof's unexpected appearance in the shop. But now the doubt was at an end; not brought by the further progress of her questions, but by this accidental circumstance.

"How glad I am, how glad I am! I always have been wanting to catch a sight of you, Sáshenka," said Nástenka, when she took him to her room.

"Yes, Nástenka, I too am no less glad than you; now you shall not leave me again. Come back to my house," said Kirsánof, who was drawn away by a feeling of sympathy and compassion; but after he said this, it occurred to him, "How could I have said that to her? She most likely is not aware of the nearness of the crisis."

But she either did not understand at first the sense that could be drawn from these words, or she understood it, and did not care to heed it; and her gladness at seeing once more the man whom she loved, deadened her grief at the approaching end; at all events, she simply showed her happiness by saying, "How kind you are! How could I have ever left you?"

But after he left she wept. Only now she either understood, or may have noticed that she had understood, what it meant for her to see him once more. "Well, it is of no use for you to take care of yourself any longer, but at least you shall enjoy the little of life that is left."

And indeed she was glad; he never left her for a moment, except those hours when he had to be in the hospital, or at the medical school; so she lived about a month, and he was always with her. And how much they talked about everything; what had happened since she had left his house, and still further recollections about her past, and how many pleasures she had; he even took her out to ride; he hired a coupé, and he took her out every pleasant day into the suburbs of Petersburg, and she was greatly delighted. Nature is so dear to a human being that even this pitiable, miserable nature surrounding Petersburg, which cost millions and tens of millions of rubles, people are delighted with; he used to read to her, and they played loto, and she even tried to play chess, as though she had time to learn it.

Viéra Pavlovna sometimes spent late hours at their house when returning from her walks, and still more often she used