Page:Captain O'Blunder's observations on the bloody war in America.pdf/8

 of you in printing of a sermon, for putting in the words, That the minister's house should be the poor man's harbour, puts in, That the minister's house should be the poor man's barber, and these you'll call errors of the press: Ah, O Blunder for ever, a certain News Monger, not long ago, citing St James' London Chronicle, calls it, Satan James's Lying Chronicle ; another of the said craft inform us, That there was now a very great heat amongst all the Potentates in Europe, and in place of Potentates, he puts in Potatoes ; arra, but this did put a drill to many of my poor countrymen, to think, that all the potatoes in Europe, was heating in one pot, many a poor weaver ran out to his potatoe-ridge, to see if it was gone the [sic] another of you not long since, says,We are informed from such a Lord's country-seat, not minding his Duchess, But that his Lordship was safely delivered of a daughter, and was now in a fair way of recovery ; you have likewise abused by your spelling, the titles of Kings and Queens, for the Empress of Germany, put, the Empyarse of Germany ; for Queen of all the Russians, put Queen of all the Ruffians ; for her Serene Highness, Shaggeren Highness for Hero of Prussia, the Nero of Prussia; and last of all, you, or some of you, put for the British Ambassador, the Brutish Ambassador, and for the Doge of Algiers, the Dog of Algiers, as these great men had been both two dogs; so now Mr Printer, I have cleared your press, to be an innocent machine, then let the Clergy rail no more against the erroneous iniquities of the press, in which there is neither pride nor spite, no even in the very spindle of it, she gives all perfect again, if it be put perfect in her bosom. I add no more, no body hears me, I spoke it low, betwixt my shoul and myself.

Capt O'BLUNDER.

FINIS.