Page:Calvary mirbeau.djvu/232

226 Juliette raised her voice, the wrinkle on her forehead grew rigid.

"Then you want me always to belong to others?"

"Oh! keep still, Juliette! Keep still! Never talk to me like that, never!"

"You are so funny! Come now, be nice and embrace me!"

The next morning, while dressing in the midst of opened trunks and scattered dresses, very much disconcerted by the absence of her chamber maid, she made all sorts of plans for the day. She wanted to take a walk on the jetty, to visit the lighthouse, to fish, to walk to the dune and sit down on the spot where I had cried so much. She said she enjoyed watching the pretty Breton girls in braided and embroidered dresses, like those in the theatre, drinking fresh milk on the farms!

"Are there any boats here?"

"Yes."

"Lot of them?"

"Certainly."

"Ah! What a chance. I like boats so much!"

Then she gave me news of Paris. Gabrielle no longer lived with Robert. Malterre was married. Jesselin was on a trip. He had had several duels. And gossip about everybody. All this bad odor of Paris brought back my melancholy and bitter memories. Seeing me sad, she interrupted herself and embraced me, assuming an air of distress:

"Ah! Perhaps you suppose I like this life!" she said plaintively, "and that I only think of amusing myself, of flirting. If you only knew! There are certain things that I can't tell you. But if you knew what a torture it is to me! You think you are unhappy! How about me? Why, if I did not have the hope of living