Page:California Inter Pocula.djvu/612



belonging to the owner of the goods were sold to make up the remainder. Here was a case where even the machinery of Judge Almond's court proved sufficient to defeat the ends of justice; for the boatman who saved the goods got nothing, while the owner was compelled to pay more than their value for the saving of them.

With John W. Geary as alcalde in 1850, and a city charter and two boards of aldermen, a grand jury was in order in the pretentious town of San Francisco. Very respectable men were selected, and proceedings were conducted in staid New England manner. Particularly was the oath administered devoutl}^ and solemnly, every witness being required to kiss the book with reverential demeanor. Frivolity and blasphemy had disgraced our tribunals long enough, thought the new city's j)to tempore masters. A healthful example should now be set. Their deliberations over, the jury were about to be called into court to receive their discharge, when unluckily one of their number, cursed with evil curiosity, picked up the book upon which all had been so furiously swearing, and opened it when, O mores! it was Tiqypers Proverbial Philosophy. Now to let it be known that they, a genuine Yankee jury, anti-chivalry, anti-slavery, anti-law-and-order, anti-swearers and tobaccochewers, men of clean white shirts and consciences, Sunda3^school men, decent in all things, men of mark on Battery and Front streets, men who never indulged in any drink stronger than hard cider, and if they ever drove out at all it was always with one horse to four persons—that these prim puritanssons should so far demean themselves, their antecedents and their surroundings, as to mistake the sickly sentimentalism of the maledict Martin for the new testament, was pitiful to contemplate. Had it been only a Webster's Spelling Book there would not attach to it so foul a disgrace, but Martin