Page:By order of the Czar.djvu/238



226 BY ORDER OF THE CZAR.

you may be if we had to descend into the bottomless pit together, I love you, and will for ever and ever 1 "

" You are mad," she exclaimed.

" I may be."

" You are mad," I say ; " would you consort with murderess ! "

" You are none," he replied, with a lofty smile.

" For you I am worse," she said ; " and I tell you now, my dear, misguided friend, that this love of yours, of mine if you will, is not only madness, it is folly, it is worse j " and then noticing how firm was his madness, how impos- sible to shake it, she made a tremendous sacrifice of her feelings, her pride, everything that woman holds dear, and whispered in his ear, " What is worse than a mur- deress, what is worse than anything man considers bad in the woman he loves ? I am that ! yes, I am that ! "

" My God 1 " the boy exclaimed, moving away from her in horror, u is it true ? "

" It is true," she said, and burst into tears.

" I pity you from my heart," he said, " I pity my- self."

She sobbed or affected to sob. He sat silently, stunned by her confession. The train ran along just as smoothly, just as swiftly as before. Neither of them spoke again for some time. At last, secretly congratulating herself on the success of her stratagem, and at the same time stung to the quick that he should believe her, Anna said, " And now let us be a man and woman of the world v ; what has passed between us is our secret ; let us respect it ; let us talk no more of love ; if we meet again, we can know each other as persons in the world, you can know me or not as you wish ; we can think of this as an incident of our lives in which there was a little sweet, and very much bitter, as there is in all incidents of this life ; and some day, when you are happy with your honest love and with