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 when all the crimes he had committed in this world would appear in dreadful array, as evidence of his guilt. "Och! Sir," cries the dying man, "an' will a' the sheeps an' the cows, an' ilka thing Tonal has helped hersel to be there?" Undoubtedly," replied the parson. "Then let ilka shentleman tak her nain, an' Tonal will be an honest man again."

A West Indian who had a remarkably fiery nose, having fallen asleep in his chair, a negro boy who was waiting, observed a musquitto hovering round his face. Quasi eyed the insect very attentively; at last he saw him alight on his master's nose, and immediately fly off, "Ah! d—n your heart," exclaimed the negro, me d—n glad see you burn your foot."

A Highlander who sold brooms, went into a barber's shop in Glasgow a few days since to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and after having shaved him, asked the price of it: "Twopence," said the Highlander; "No, no," said the barber, "I'll give you a penny, if that does not satisfy you, take your broom again." The Highlander took it, and asked what he had got to pay? "A penny," said strap. "I'll gie you a bawbee," said Duncan, "an' if that dinna satisfy ye, put on my beard again."

The following is preserved traditionlly as the grace of the farmer of Kellochsyde, or Killocsyde,