Page:Budget of wit and drollery.pdf/7

 Sunday afternoon in the eountrycountry [sic], an acquaintance from a neighbouring parish accosted him one day, and asked how the world was moving with him. "Oh, very puirly, Sir, very puirley indeed," was the answer," the yard has done naething ava for us this summer,—if you like to believe me I havena buriet a leevin' soul this sax weeks."

A parrot perehedperched [sic] upon a pole at a cottage door, beaking itself in the sun, was observed by a rapcious hawk, whiehwhich [sic] happened to be passing over it, suddenly dived down and seized poor Poll by the back; away the hawk flew with his prey; when passing over the garden, Poll observed his old friend the gardener, and exelaimedexclaimed [sic], I'm ridin' noo, John Laurie. Hawky alarmed at hearing a voieevoice [sic] so near, darted into a tree for safety, when after recovering a little, commeneedcommenced [sic] to devour poor Poll, when it roared out with all its might, will you bite you b—. The hawk terrified out of its wits, flew off with a birr, leaving Poll to proceed homewards at pleasure.

Daft Will Callander lived with his sister Babie, in Port-Glasgow; Babie kept a lodging-house for Sailors. One Saturday night Babie was making a Haggis for Sunday's dinner, when one of her lodger's put four ouneeounce [sic] of quicksilver into the haggis unknown to Babie. On Sunday Will was left at home to eookcook [sic] the dinner; but when the pot began to boil, the haggis would be out of the pot. Will faithful to his ehargecharge [sic] held the lid on the pot until his patience was exhausted; at last Will ran